Because of suspicious activity on my website (leighbyrne.com), I have decided to do away with it. If you have comments, questions or concerns regarding Call Me Tuesday, or its forthcoming sequel, Call Me Cockroach, please use the contact form below. You may also contact me through my Facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/callmetuesday?ref=hl, or email me directly @ leighbyrne@wowway.com.
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I have read your two books over the past two days. They impacted me greatly. I am so very sorry that you had to endure so many years of deplorable abuse from the one person who should have been there to protect you. I was not abused as a child but terribly neglected at times due to my mother's alcoholism. Today I am 58 years old and still have some very vivid memories from that time that were, and still are, very hurtful. I remember in second grade having a classmate, upon my admiring her new dress, tell me not to touch her because I was dirty. I guess I just want to say that though your childhood trauma was much worse than mine, I understand how you still feel.
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my story and for contacting me. As a child, there is no pain more intense than being rejected by your peers. I'm so sorry for you. That girl has no idea of the indelible mark she left on your soul. Unfortunately, abuse of any kind, haunts us our whole lives. Stay strong and be thankful for the love ones who now surround you.
ReplyDeleteI could so relate to your story. I am 62 yrs old and could never understand why my mother (I felt) hated me so much. One vivid memory I can recall her sitting in the middle of a 3 piece sectional with her arm around my little brother. She kept asking him why I was so ugly and fat. I remember them just laughing at me and I tried to pretend I did not hear them. I was fat all during my school years. It was bad enough being called names at school but to come home to the name calling was not good. She used to dress me in the ugliest clothes. I was so embarrassed. I isolated myself in my room a lot. When my dad was home it did not happen but I was ashamed to tell him anything. I think I (we) have a hard time trusting anyone because if you can't trust your own family...who can you trust. My younger brother was evil until the day he died and lived off of my mother until she died. I must say, no tears were shed for either one of them. Between 17 and 18 I lost 75-80 pounds. I went to the senior prom and by the time I was 18 and would not let my mother control me any longer. Later on has I matured, I tried to have a relationship with her to no avail. I did not speak to her until my father was dying. He died and once again, I tried to form a relationship with her. By this time, my brother was always at her house and I was totally scared of him. I removed myself from her until she was on her death bed. My brother was not right and she knew she could count on me to take care of her and bury her properly...which I did. I guess I could write a book but some of the things that happened were so crazyt! I am just glad it is over with. I was married a year and a half the first time. I know it was just to get out of the house. I was lucky though. I met the love of my life and have been married over 37 years. He helped me be who I am today. Thank you for a good read. I understand the pain you went through although I was not starved. I became obese! Once I lost the weight, I would not allow that to happen again.
ReplyDeleteYou would not believe how many people have come forward and told me they had a childhood experience similar to mine. And I am grateful for each one, because each one makes me feel a little less alone. Thank you so much for sharing this with me and others who may happen across this blog.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you have found happiness, but I also know that there will always be a raw part of you deep inside that still causes you pain. Keep that strength you developed as a child and live out the rest of your days in joy. You have earned it!
I love both of your books. I was hooked from the start and finished reading them quickly. What horrific experiences you went through. I am so proud of you for being brave enough to share your story. As being someone who has also had demons from her past to deal with (yours were a lot more severe than mine - but still, I can relate) - you have inspired me to have a fresh perspective on abuse and how to behave as an adult in relationships and interactions with people. You have also inspired me to embrace my own writing even more and hopefully someday complete a novel too. Thank you Leigh - please know that you are so not alone and you absolutely have a voice!
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my books, and I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts here. To know that I have in some small way made you look at abuse a little differently, does my heart good. And to think I may have inspired you to continue writing makes me just plain happy! Do it! Writing is cathartic.
DeleteI just finished reading "Call Me Tuesday" and "Call Me Cockroach". I was struck by the similarities in your story and mine. My physical abuse was not as extensive (I'll still never forget the wire flyswatter, however!), but the mental abuse was as bad and continues to this day. I'll never forget my father's words to me 2 weeks before he died (his death was sudden and unexpected) - "If anything happens to me you have to promise me you won't let your mother move in with you." I said I wouldn't. Then he said more forcefully, "No. I mean it. Promise me you won't let her move in." I again promised I wouldn't, but since he's gone, I understand why. She's in a nursing home now and is more selfish and demanding than before (if that's possible). And even though I finally convinced her "golden child", my only sibling, to take over her finances and healthcare decisions, she continues to call ME to bring her things and take her to doctor appointments. Nothing is ever right, she complains about everything. Why do I continue to help her? Is it because I still want the acceptance I'll never get? Guilt because I really don't love her? I have been told I have a personality like my dad. Friendly, outgoing, amiable, caring. Yet I struggle with hidden depression and have become extremely reclusive. I even have the same "phone phobia" as you! I hate talking on the phone! I've been to different psychologists and therapists, but I'm such a people-pleaser that I make them think I'm getting better when I'm no different than when I walked in the door. I take an anti-depressant that helps, but I hate the side effects. I expect my mother to live a long life because most of her family lived well into their 90's, and her grandmother lived to 102. Don't get me wrong, I don't wish her dead! I just wanted to know if you ever felt any relief before your mother passed?
ReplyDeleteHi Sharon! So glad you wrote and shared your experiences for others to read. Thank you so much! You made me feel better about my own guilt of the feelings (or lack of) I had for my mother. Who knows, someone might happen by this blog and you could make them feel better too. There are a lot more of "us" than people think.
DeleteOkay, that said, first of all, I want you to know that I've learned, through readers of my books who have contacted me, that ALL abuse of a child is bad, no matter the degree of severity, the damage is the same. While my abuse seems worse than yours to you, the emotional torment you have endured, and continue to endure, sounds equally as bad to me. Like they say, "everyone has their own private hell."
Your dad was trying to protect you when he told you to stay away from your mother, and it brings to mind my own father who, at times, tried to protect me, in his own way. Why do we not blame our fathers? Our abuse was just as much their fault as our mothers.' That is one question I ask myself that I've never been able to answer.
I suspect that both you and I, because of our pasts, have become very good at hiding our depression by being overly friendly. Phone phobia is just an extension of our tendency to reclusiveness. I don't know about you, but I just don't want to be very close to too many people. I'm no psychologist, but I wonder if it has something to do with our lingering trust issues.
Something you might find interesting is I have a brother who was also abused my our mother after I left home. Actually two of my brothers were abused, one of them committed suicide last year. Before Mama died she was always calling him, instead of her golden child, when she needed something, just like your mom does, and he always ran to her side, seeking her acceptance, or maybe he felt a familial obligation. Who knows why we put up with what we do from our families.
The last thing I want you to know is yes, I felt relief after my mother was gone. Not guilty, just glad it was finally all over, and I would never have to face her again. It was a twisted kind of closure. She led a sad, lonely life near the end, accompanied only by her misery, and for that I felt sorry for her and cried, purely out of human compassion.
Hang in there Sharon, and do only what brings you joy. Your mother has drained enough happiness from your life. If I were you, the next time she called, I'd send a text message to "the golden child."
Thank you, Leigh! My sister of the heart! So sorry to hear about your brothers, especially the one who died. One thing that has sustained me over the years is my best friend, whom I've known ALL of my life! She, too, was horribly abused by her father and oldest brother, then -because of that abuse - by her mother. Being the same age and living next door most of our childhood, I saw the abuse by her mother. The saddest part is that many adults knew about it and did absolutely nothing. She has struggled all her life, but I have to share a wondrous thing that happened this year. She found out she had a pre-cancerous condition that required chemotherapy and possibly a bone marrow transplant. She said she had tried to kill herself many times but something had always stopped her.She thought her illness was God's way of taking care of it for her! She was recently diagnosed as cancer-free and has now changed her whole way of thinking about her death! She has a long way to go toward "mind-healing", but no longer has the suicidal thoughts and believes God has a purpose for her life! If no other, she has stood by me and I by her for 59 years now. That is something else I have noticed - there are a lot of women our age with similar stories. I wonder if there has ever been a study about the era of our mothers? Interesting, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteHello Leigh, my name is Alexander and I'm a sixth grader at the Northwest School and I am doing a case report on child abuse. I am soooo extremly sorry that you had to endure this as a child and i'm glad your life is better. I am fine, and luckily I haven't had to endure this. I was wondering is I could interview you over the phone this weekend. It is okay if you say no, for i have a plan B. You can contact me on my Email : alex.soukakos@comcast.net and again, I am sooo sorry that you had to go through this, and i would apriciate if we could talk. Thanks! Alexander.
ReplyDeleteI read 'Call me Cockroach' first, and am just starting 'Call me Tuesday'. I wanted to let you know that reading CMC was incredibly...liberating. I was abused for several years at a young age by my mothers boyfriend and SO much of what you wrote about in CMC I experienced. Right down to the getting lost and having random panic attacks. It's nice to know I'm not alone, and it's even better to know that success is possible. I have a good life now, but sometimes I still feel like a fraud or like it's all going to be ripped away from me.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. It's nice to know I'm not alone, too. I know exactly what you mean by the fraud thing. When my life is going too good I get scared...scared it won't last. Thanks to our abusers for damaging our self esteem, we don't feel deserving of happiness, and often will not allow ourselves to enjoy it for long. We both have to stop doing that! Promise me you'll try. I wish you the best
DeleteHi, Leigh, I just read call me Tuesday n I'm beginning call me cockroach next n it was so sad reading about what happened to you, not only by people who where supposed to love you but also by your piers in school. Growing up I wasn't abused in my home but my father was very abusive to my mother. In my school year though I was very much tormented by my piers every day just because I wasn't like them n I was shy. It caused me severe depressing n started cutting to release the pain. Eventually I dropped out but I did get my GED. I struggled for a long time in everyday life with little self esteem. But I'm a strong women today because of it. Now I have 3 beautiful kids that are my world n I don't let anyone push me around anymore. But I do struggle with relationships. I seem to always push away but I'm working on it. Anyways, thanks for sharing your story it was very moving n I hope your life only gets a little more better each day!
ReplyDeleteMandy, so glad you contacted me, because it is GREAT to hear that you have become a strong woman in spite of your struggles! Seems like everyone who reaches out to me that has been affected by abuse (like you were when you witnessed your mother being mistreated by your father) and also those who have been bullied, struggle with self-esteem issues and relationships--usually inability to trust is the culprit there. Stay strong, keep loving those beautiful kids, and NEVER let another living soul push you around. Hugs!
DeleteHello Leigh, I just finished both of your books and I have to say....what a strong woman you are, inspiring really. I didn't suffer from abuse like this growing up, but I was sexually abused as a child and my life has never been the same since. People seem to wonder why I read so many books about abused children and that surely it would just make me more upset to constantly read such stories. I guess it's because I'm searching for answers myself. Trying to figure out how people can survive something even worse then what I experienced and seem to handle life a lot better than I do.
ReplyDeleteThrough so much reading it seems like abuse victims of any kind have one thing in common...we are fighters. We fought to survive during the abuse and we continue to survive what is called "life".
I don't really know what my point really is, but I do wonder if you ever received consoling to heal from your abuse? I have PTSD and anxiety so bad that it can be debilitating and I'm currently starting therapy to hopefully heal from those wounds in my past. I wondered that if you have had consoling if you found some relief from it?
Lastly, thank you for sharing your story. I hope you write more books in the future. Stories like these inspire me to keeping fighting, so thank you.
Hope you are well,
-Ashley
Hi Ashley. Thanks for getting in touch with me!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your past abuse, and that you are still struggling with painful memories. Please know you are not alone. I still struggle daily too, and I'm pretty sure, as much as I regret to say it, judging from the letters I receive from other abuse survivors, no one ever fully recovers from trauma inflicted during their formative years.
You are smart to seek counseling. It certainly cannot hurt to try. In answer to your question, no I never did see a counselor, although I probably should have. Talking about what happened, as opposed to holding everything in, is cathartic, this I know to be true. Writing my story helped me heal more than anything.
I wish you the best on your journey to overcoming your unfortunate childhood. Please try to remember that what happened to you is part of your past and concentrate on not allowing it to own your future.
❤️
Leigh
Hello, Leigh! I'm currently reading "Call Me Tuesday" and felt compelled to reach out to you. I am so sorry for what you went through. It's simply deplorable what your mother did to you. While I never experienced the abuse you did, I did grow up with a mentally disturbed mother made my childhood extremely frightening and confusing. Now a mother myself, I can finally see just how dysfunctional my mother's relationship with me, my siblings, and my dad was. I grew up thinking that her 'normal' was normal. I've spent the last 25 or so years learning what normal really is and trying to figure out how to fit in. Thank you for sharing your story. I cannot wait to finish this book so I can move on to "Call me Cockroach". Sending you big hugs! - Mary
ReplyDelete😊😊😊 Mary, you warm my heart! Thank you!
DeleteThan you
ReplyDeleteYour welcome, Colie, although I'm not sure exactly what you are thanking me for. Thanks for visiting my blog!
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ReplyDeleteShannon, I am so honored your daughter chose Call Me Tuesday for this very impressive competition...she must be a talented speaker! And you! How kind of you to take the time to let me know! Kudos to you for dedicating 20 years of your life to helping teens work through life’s many challenges. Best of luck at the competition! And Thanks again, for reaching out, and for helping to spread Call Me Tuesday’s message.
DeleteHi Shannon. I’ve already replied once to your post, but I just thought of something, and I wanted to run it past you and your daughter. I was wondering if you were planning on videoing your daughter’s performance in the upcoming competition. The reason I ask is because I’d love to see it, and because Amazon just added a feature to my book’s product page that allows readers to upload videos pertaining to the book. I thought it would be neat if you uploaded a video of your daughter’s part in the competition. Just a thought. Again, the best of luck!
DeleteLeigh--The competition does not allow recording or even spectators, but I will talk to her about recording a practice session. The contest is next week, and we are still working on the piece. The time limit for Prose is seven minutes maximum, so getting as much of your story into those precious seven minutes has been quite a challenge. We are committed to telling your story as beautifully and respectfully as we can. I will let you know how it all turns out. God bless you, Leigh! Shannon (and Allison)
ReplyDeleteThanks Shannon, and Allison! Keep me posted! ❤️
DeleteLeigh--We just got back from State late last night. Allison WON the State Championship in Prose Interpretation with "Call Me Tuesday"! We are so thrilled, blessed, and thankful to be able to share your story with so many. Our team also won the State Championship in Speech overall. I'm trying to get back into "life as normal" after this immense competition, but I will speak to Allison about trying to video something for you. God Bless you, Leigh. :)
DeleteWOW!! You and Allison must be super excited...I know I am! And so very impressed, and PROUD, and grateful! And most of all, I appreciate your helping to spread Call Me Tuesday’s message. Don’t worry about the video; you’re both probably exhausted. Just rest, and enjoy your well deserved new title as State Champions!! So does this mean you will be competing in a national competition?
DeleteI am greatly inspired by your story. I have been wondering ways to keep children safe. I talked to an attorney about passing a bill requiring every child abuse case to be open for investigation for 1 year, so they can have 'drop ins' anytime. I don't know how long it will take to start it, but it will take awhile to get everything together. He said he would help me do the leg work if I do the research. I am sickened by child abuse Question, I'm only on your second book, however, did you ever really find out if your mother's abuse was definitively caused by her accident
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