World Peace

The great thing about having a blog is that when you feel bitchy about something you can always write about it, and maybe one or two people might read it and say, “yeah, that pisses me off too!” Or not. But it doesn’t matter anyway, because the point of the bitchy blog—or as I like to call it, “the blitch”—is to vent. And we all need to vent; Dr. Phil (or maybe it’s Dr. Oz) says it’s good for your mental and emotional health. So, in the interest of my sanity, and in the spirit of doctors Phil and Oz, here’s my “blitch.”

Back in September of last year, NBA player, Ron Artest of the LA Lakers changed his name to Metta World Peace. His new first name, the Buddaist word Metta, means "loving kindness and friendliness towards others." His new last name is, well, self-explanatory. Mr. Artest...excuse me...Mr. World Peace, (or maybe it's Mr. Peace, and his middle name is World) according to his own words, changed his name "to inspire and bring youth together all around the world."

Now isn’t that special.

The name change sounds like a lovely gesture by an obviously lovely man who, out of the goodness of his lovely heart, is taking advantage of his privileged position as an NBA star to influence millions of young people around the world.

HA! 

For those of you who aren’t already familiar with the professional athlete formerly known as Ron Artest, allow me to give you a brief history of his humanitarian nature, his “loving kindness and friendliness.” I’ll start with his most recent gesture of brotherly love toward one of his fellow ball players. It happened Sunday before last, during a game with the Oklahoma City Thunder. After an admittedly impressive fast-break dunk over Durant and Serge Ibaka, World Peace came down growling viciously, pounding his chest with one fist and threw a hard elbow to the head of Thunder guard, James Harden.

It was an accident, according to World Peace. An accident forceful enough to cause Harden to have a concussion. WP later claimed he was merely celebrating the dunk and got "real emotional and excited.” But when the officials reviewed the tape and realized it was clearly no accident they ejected him on the spot. Last Tuesday the NBA announced that he is suspended for seven games. Looks like he’s probably going to miss the first round of the playoffs. Pity. In this humble “blitcher’s” opinion he got off easy, given his history of violence.

The elbow incident was only the finale to World Peace’s long list of aggressive behavior. During the 2011 playoffs, in a game against the Mavericks, he slung a forearm and struck J.J. Barea in the face. Before he joined the Lakers he had been suspended 12 times in his 13 year career. In 2007 he was arrested on a domestic violence charge. In 2004, back when he played for the Indiana Pacers, he leaped into the stands and attacked one of the fans. Now that was classy. There’s more, a lot more, I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.

Being the huge NBA fan that I am, I can appreciate World Peace’s talent and passion for the game. And in his defense I believe he tried to clean up his image by changing his name. He appeared on Dancing With the Stars and the cast of the show thought he was a really nice guy. Last April he was presented with the NBA’s J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship Award for his work on mental health awareness. He tried, God love him.

Every time a commentator says his name “...and World Peace goes up for the block...” I bust out laughing. As I write this I can’t even type it and keep a straight face. But that’s just me; I’m a sucker for irony. And maybe I have a warped sense of humor because whenever I see him a vision of Miss Piggy pops into my head. She’s got on her wig and false eyelashes and lipstick, but it doesn’t change the fact that underneath all the glam she’s still a pig. And she always will be a pig.